Oh, silly girl

If I had cancer, and the ability to force Paris Hilton to do my bidding, I wouldn't freakin' want to be hanging out with her.

Oh, who am I kidding? Absolutely no one. I'd make her watch Glitter with me and we could paint our toe-nails. But I would force her to shop at Marshall's with me.

And I'd make her let me watch her eat. Just to see if she knows how.